Pumpkin Spice Café by Laurie Gilmore
A Self-Guided Therapy Companion by Kristen Nassif, LMFT | The Psych Babe
WHY THIS BOOK
In Pumpkin Spice Café, Laurie Gilmore gives us a story about what it means to rebuild a life slowly and with renewed authenticity, without the pressure of performance. After a public breakup and professional fallout, Jeanie relocates to a small town and takes over her aunt’s café. This is not a dramatic or high stakes plot, although it is fast paced so fear not for boredom! The emotional weight of the story sits in the the characters’ everyday choices: letting people get close, holding boundaries, and telling the truth even when it feels uncomfortable. Beneath the romance and seasonal charm is a story of a woman relearning how to move through the world without hiding or overcompensating.
This bibliotherapy breakdown is for anyone who’s ever:
- Outgrown the life they worked hard to build
- Moved to a new place to rediscover themselves
- Felt safer being “needed” than being known
- Struggled to trust ease after a season of survival
- Wondered who they are without constant striving
THERAPEUTIC THEMES
Identity Reconstruction After Collapse
Jeanie isn’t reinventing herself — she’s remembering who she is beneath burnout, betrayal, and over-functioning. This is identity work in real time.
Decoupling Worth from Productivity
She’s spent years tying her value to being useful. In Dream Harbor, she starts learning that she’s allowed to just be— without over-giving or over-performing.
Regulating Through Routine
The café becomes more than a job — it’s a nervous system anchor. Repetition, rhythm, and ritual help her build internal safety.
Relational Safety Without Performance
Logan doesn’t fall in love with a version of her that’s curated. He meets her where she is — guarded, uncertain, real — and creates space, not pressure.
Belonging Without Self-Abandonment
In this town, she’s not earning her place — she’s just existing within it. It’s a lived experience of unconditional positive regard.
Transitioning Out of Hypervigilance
When survival mode is your norm, peace can feel unfamiliar. The book invites us to trust ease without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Self-Repair Through Consistency
Showing up daily in a routine no matter what: unlocking the door, brewing the coffee, engaging in quiet connection… this becomes the framework for rebuilding self-trust.
REFLECTION PROMPTS
- Who are you when no one needs anything from you?
- What parts of your identity were built around burnout, approval, or performance?
- When have you confused being useful with being worthy?
- If you moved to a new town tomorrow, what parts of your identity would you bring with you and what would you leave behind?
- What does “starting over” mean to you right now: emotionally, relationally, or creatively?
- What version of you feels most authentic in your body and your life?
- Where do you feel most like yourself: a place, a routine, a relationship?
- What relationships in your life reflect back your trust in your own identity?
- When do you find yourself rushing or over-performing to “earn your keep” (in relationships, your job…)?
- What parts of your life would change if you no longer equated hard work with self-worth?
SOMATIC & SENSORY PRACTICES
Cinnamon Breath & Warm Mug Ritual
Hold a warm drink (cinnamon, chai, or coffee). Inhale through the nose, slowly exhale through the mouth. Let the scent ground you in the present. Use this as a cue for “nothing is urgent.”
→ My favorite is mulled hot cider
Evening Wind-Down With Candlelight
Like the soft lighting in the café, dim the lights and light a candle at dusk. Use this time to journal, stretch, do a puzzle or just be still.
→ I love lighting a bees wax candle or putting on an ambient YouTube with a great book
Identity Journaling With a Fall Soundtrack
Put on an autumn ambient playlist and write for 10–15 minutes on this prompt:
“If I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone, what would I allow myself to become?”
Use this weekly to track shifts in your inner narrative.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Pumpkin Spice Café isn’t just a cozy love story, it’s a reminder that rebuilding doesn’t always look like big life moves. Sometimes it looks like opening the door, making the coffee, and trusting that ritual consistency is enough. If you’re in a season where your nervous system is craving calm but your mind is craving clarity, this story offers both without asking you to become someone new in the process.
Written by: Kristen Nassif, LMFT
Follow @thepsychbabe for more curated reads, identity work, and nervous system support.