Thanksgiving… it’s cozy and connective, yet somehow also the season’s first stress test. Between travel, family history, and the pressure of serving an entire meal that hinges on a single bird (that no one really knows how long to roast), the day can feel like emotional CrossFit.
If you come from a family with tension or unresolved dynamics, the table can quickly become a mirror for every version of you that’s ever existed. You may find yourself reverting to the teenager who avoids conflict or the peacemaker who absorbs it all. The key is resilience, not perfection – just stay centered enough to participate without losing yourself. Seriously, don’t worry about handling things perfectly! It’s not gonna happen! However – I’ve listed out some options to use below, so hopefully you can have a few on hand in times of need. As I always say, “options are wealth!”
If you sense discomfort, find yourself a job. It’s one of the most underrated coping skills there is.
- Babysit the bird! 🦃 Baste baby baste!
- Set the table or plate dessert
- Refill glasses
- Play with the kids
- Bartend
- Help keep the kitchen clear
These small acts do two things:
- Regulate your nervous system through movement and focus.
- Give you a natural, polite exit from conversations that start to feel off.
Anyone who knows me knows I’m pro-confrontation and believe in healthy conflict—but Thanksgiving is not the time for boundaries and breakthroughs and you’re not here to process generational trauma over cranberry sauce. Be wise, enjoy some pie, and remember: you can pick the deeper conversations back up in January, ideally with fewer carbs in the room.
Support Your Body
Rich food, alcohol, late nights, and synthetic scents all pile onto your system. When your liver and gut are sluggish, so is your patience.
Keep things simple:
- Hydrate between every alcoholic drink.
- Add bitters or digestive enzymes before meals.
- Take a brisk post-dinner walk.
- Prioritize a real night’s sleep.
If you wake up the next day feeling foggy, inflamed, or anxious, that’s your body’s detox pathways asking for support. Brothy soups, lemon water, light movement, and magnesium are your friends.
Anchor Yourself in Ritual
For the mind, remember that rituals are stabilizing. Brew your morning coffee or tea alone before everyone wakes. Step outside for five minutes of cold air and stillness. Light a candle before dinner. Those micro-moments keep your nervous system anchored in the present instead of the past.
Functional Calming Tools
If your system needs extra help staying composed, natural anxiolytics can smooth the edges without sedation.
- L-theanine: calm focus and stress buffering.
- Magnesium glycinate: for travel tension and digestion.
- Lemon balm or lavender: gentle relaxation before bed.
- Glycine: supports sleep and stabilizes blood sugar overnight.
Use these strategically—before big gatherings, during travel, or when you need to wind down.
Thanksgiving isn’t about proving growth to your family; it’s about practicing self-regulation in real time. You can be gracious without over-giving, grounded without being detached, and calm without shrinking. Gratitude doesn’t require ignoring reality and I hope these tips and tricks can help you to relax and enjoy your Thanksgiving. Remember – just do what you can and dont stress about the perfect distress routin